The mysterious fruitcake

Fruitcake always mysteriously shows up on the dessert table during the holidays. My question is why. Why does this loaf of smashed fruit—and is that bread?—end up on the same table with the delectable desserts? Year after year, it’s always there staring you down, making you wonder what it is, what it tastes like and what if it’s left over from last year.

Who eats it, anyway?

Apparently, some people do. Why else would it be on shelves each year?

Now the real question: What is in a fruitcake?

This fruitcake has golden raisins, enriched flour bleached, water, sugar, corn syrup, walnut pieces, pecan pieces, cherries, partially hydrogenated soybean and cottonseed oils, pineapple, eggs, orange peel, dehydrated papaya, high fructose corn syrup and less than 2 percent of a bunch of hard to pronounce words.

Sounds tasty, right?

Not so much!

With 480 calories per serving of fruitcake, it doesn’t sound very mouthwatering to me. Cookies sound like a much more appetizing choice.

If you do voluntarily choose to eat fruitcake—instead of gifting, or regifting it—cheers to you! You’re a brave soul. OK, that may be a bit dramatic, but you get the point.